Life every day, and at anytime can become overwhelming. As a Mom I am so many different things in a single day. A cook, chauffeur, cleaner, organizer, office administrator, friend, life coach, grocery shopper, personal hygiene assistant (I thought this sounded more clever than ‘child cleaner upper’) and the list goes on and on.
Sometimes in the midst of all of these things I’m doing, the last thing on my mind is me.
Life is Always Happening
It would be nice if life would slow down in an instant and on command. It’d also be nice if I could eat chocolate without ever worrying about the calories! The reality is that we all have 24 hours in a day but for some it seems like one day just melds into the next. For new Mom’s they definitely know what I’m talking about as sleep isn’t even regular at this point.
I’ve always been an optimist. It just seems to be woven into the fabric of my being. Not saying I never get down or feel upset by life’s happenings. It’s just that I need to look on the bright side. I need there to BE a bright side. I WANT there to be many ‘bright’ sides because I want life to be beautiful.
Capturing the Moment
When my oldest was a toddler and was having meltdowns and we seemed locked in a head-to-head battle, sometimes I would just stop. I’d stop and pull him into my lap and just hug him. We’d just drop the fight and shift to something completely different.
For me it was a powerful lesson to learn that I had the power to change myself in the midst of a situation I couldn’t seem to change. Just shifted gears and realized that I wasn’t that different from my toddler. Quite often as adults we have meltdowns too….quite often internalized as we’ve learned to ‘control our emotions’.
It might seem like I’m rambling here and forgive me, but I do have a point.
As Mom’s there is pressure from, well it seems like everywhere! For me it was a bit of other people’s expectations, but even more so, my own expectations. I had preconceived notions of what this Motherhood journey would look like. I’d leave home with the snacks all properly zip-locked and I’d have the wipes and diapers. My child was going to sit nicely in the shopping cart and there wasn’t drama. Oh wait…..reality steps in. Not what I had pictured!
Unique is the new Beautiful
Your journey is unique. Captured moments that you want to hold on to forever. Days you wish you could just flush down the toilet. It’s all part of your journey. Somedays I don’t think I could take one more thing. Other days I’m walking around smiling at myself that I’m blessed to have my boys. When I’m sitting on the couch and they think it’s better to squish themselves into the same square foot of the house that I’m taking up, I smile and think how awesome it is that these little people connect with me and want me and need me.
I just want this post, this Mommy talk to let you know that, no it isn’t always easy, and Yes, everyone does have their own challenges. Your unique situation can be beautiful though. Cause it’s yours. Actually no one can critique that….. I mean there are tips on better parenting or how to put your child to sleep in 5 easy (ya right!) steps, but your life is yours. You are bringing your own flare to the table. Might as well throw it down, own it and be proud of it.
Remember to breathe!!!
My advice to any and every mom…..and maybe a reminder to myself is…..breathe. Find a little space and time for just you. Soak up a ray of sunshine, and breathe in and out. Look at all the things you HAVE done and all you HAVE accomplished. Sometimes the fact that you haven’t given up is enough of a victory in itself and should be celebrated. Hopefully no one said it would be easy, but it doesn’t have to be difficult.
Our people around us help us become more than we were the day before. We learn about ourselves as we grow with our kids. Also, I really wanted to encourage you and say that it is amazing that you are raising a human being. Seriously, what an awesome and amazing thing to be giving so much of yourself so that someone else can learn and grown and become. Mom’s are out there every day sacrificing their time, their comfort, their money, just to give their children more. We want them to succeed.
Mom’s are people too
Just remember that you are a person too in your house that needs looking after. After all the cooking, cleaning, working, homework, school lunches, sports events, dance classes, you still need to be taken care of. Don’t forget that you have dreams and goals. Don’t forget that you are special and beautiful and IMPORTANT! You matter to a lot of people but you should also matter to yourself.
However you can manage to do it, find some time for yourself that is your time. Especially once your kids are a bit older, defend this time. Don’t allow it to be interrupted. Do what you need to do to keep yourself encouraged and inspired.
Comparison is a killer of joy. So is the weight of other people’s expectations. There are lots of people out there better than you at something. Again, you are better than a lot of people at a lot of things. Relationships are so special and valuable and your kids aren’t looking for someone else…..they want you!
Every day is a fresh start. Sometimes we need to let go of the image we had in our head of how things would be and just adjust our reality if we aren’t yet where we’d like to be.
You are special and have things to teach your kids. Often I see Mom’s as strong. I don’t know if everyone actually feels strong, but I see them ‘Mothering’ and I’m just amazed. Keep moving forward and enjoy the bits and moments everyday. Remember to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are important and precious.
This post was just meant to be something to remind you that there is no one perfect way of doing things. So many people’s lives, we only see the outside glimpse, the appearance they portray in public. From the mom holding a bag of groceries and a screaming two and half year old to the perfectly coiffed one whose GAP wearing ‘perfect’ child is sitting eating their organic fruit snack. We are all carving our own way out and the best way to enjoy it all is to look at ourselves and OUR kids.
Do you like how you do it? Is there something you want to change? You can do a self assessment….not comparing to anyone else…just how do you feel about you? If there are things you like, then enjoy those things, amplify those things. And if there are things you don’t like, then take baby steps toward changing. The reason I say baby steps is simply that’s what I’ve found most effective in my house.
I mean if your kid won’t eat vegetable and you want to change that, dumping a pile of broccoli on their next plate of food might not go off so well. But starting a plate of veggies in the middle of the table where they have to pick 1 piece and try it before they can leave the table, that is a great step to toward getting your kids to eat veggies. Again, I also got a good multivitamin to make up for what my child refused to eat so I felt a little bit better.
To be honest most of us are out there swimming in the deep, sometimes feeling like we’re on top of everything and maybe some days feeling like everything is on top of us. Most people feel the same, just some are better at fake it till you make it!
I would love to hear your stories. Triumphs, challenges, proud moments….not so proud moments.
The best person to understand you is another mom. I often laugh when I’m with other moms and we tell our stories of the most wonderful and bizarre moments. Just remember, Unique is the new Beautiful. It’s great, you’re doing your best, there are other Mom’s to lean on and talk to. I hope you are finding your rhythm and embracing your way of navigating the journey!
Like, Share, Comment, Rage….. Rant….whatever works. You got this!